A blog from one of our Missionaries, Elizabeth Matthews.
We’re all in our own season with regard to being called as a missionary. Preparing to go, new on the field, several years of experience, and long-term life as a missionary. I’ve been in East Africa for three years, so my perspective is limited to that time frame. However, I have found the beauty and complexity of the journey fascinating.
In 2012 the Holy Spirit threw me a curve ball when He told me it was I He was calling to the mission field, not one of my adult children (note, therefore, my age range). He let me know that I had several years to “Set my face like a stone; determined to do His will. Isaiah 50:7.” I became very intentional in developing more meaningful relationships with missionaries – corresponding, visiting, hosting, supporting, keeping their needs in front of people, etc. I learned so much about the humanness of missionaries – their joy, strengths, weaknesses, frailties, hurts, perseverance, fears, frustrations, victories. The Holy Spirit let me see patterns in common complaints. I also saw how in our humanity, those things we have not dealt with as unto the Lord will surface on the mission field. I saw it big and small, and heard many stories of others whom I didn’t know personally. Sometimes it is painful to watch.
As I sensed my season drawing more near, I made this request to the Lord: “Lord, show me now what needs to be dealt with. I will be faithful to address what You show me because I want my unhealed heart to be brought before You in private, not in public.” I believe He loved that request because for the next two years He did not give me break. We all have seasons where He exposes some issue in our heart that He gently exposes and begins to walk us through a hard season of rooting it out, right? And then He gives us a sweet season of rest. Yeah, well, I had a lot He needed to expose and only two years (He knew the timing, I didn’t) before I would move to Uganda. Together, He and I went from one weak area to the next, then to the next, then circle back because that first issue reared its head again, and on and on. No sweet rest. His voice became that of a Father who has great concern for the safety of His daughter. There was much seriousness, almost a sternness. But it was sobering, not cruel. He was needing me to really “get it”. Not only was it about my safety, but now I can see it was bigger than that. One of the big issues was listening to His voice and following it. Quickly. I liked to discuss things first. I am a very logical person, so I want things to make sense. He told me there would be moments where we wouldn’t have time to discuss; that I needed to hear Him and do what He said without hesitation. Once I was actually in Uganda and found myself in some dangerous “suddenly” situations, I had already practiced following His quick commands, and I was able to hear and respond to Him. What I learned in that season of training was that I now knew—trusted myself—that I hear Him. Perhaps part of my “discussions” with Him was that I wasn’t sure I heard Him well. He definitely pulled me out of some danger (thank You, Lord!). But the bigger part is that as time progressed, I heard Him more and more distinctly in the day-to-day moments, perhaps before the danger instead of in the middle of it. His voice would instruct me in who to talk to, what to say, to circle back and “fix” something that may cause misunderstanding. Especially out in public, sometimes I get a strong sense to turn around from the direction I am headed, and I heed His voice. I will never know how much danger I have avoided.
Over time, this has developed into walking in a deeper level of wisdom. When I am hearing His leading in my normal life interactions, and if I am responding to His promptings, I am carrying His wisdom. Missionaries need wisdom! Well, okay, everyone needs wisdom.
The journey of listening to His voice and responding is a marathon, not a sprint. Let Him enrich your life in this very important area of growth.
